Perception versus Reality

The baby asked for cold milk in a sippy cup. The Husband says: "The stuff in the dishwasher is clean." I think to myself, it's not clean. I didn't run it, but okay... I open the dishwasher and there are crumbs on the door and you can just tell that the stuff inside isn't clean.

The Husband tells me: "I got a sippy out of there this morning!"

Okay. I say: "It's not clean."

"But I got a sippy this morning."

Then I pull a plate out and show him a residual piece of old tuna fish.

He says: "But what I got was clean."

I'm thinking, okay, but the machine has dirty dishes in it, so therefore, whatever you pulled out of it had been used before and not washed.

I pick up a glass and say: "Look, this has lip-prints on it."

He counters with: "But what I got out was clean, you're showing me the wrong evidence."

Yes, because clearly, the machine was run and the only thing that got clean was the one thing you pulled out!

Stupid Things Other People's Husbands Do

I'm guessing it started off something like this:

"Honey, you've really got to do something about the leaves piling up outside."

(Which usually means, either put them in bags for the garbage men to take away, or find out when it's "leaf day" in your town, or mulch them... typically it does not mean what I saw on my way home today)....

There he was, somebody's husband, who had diligently folded down the seats in their Volvo wagon, covered the inside of the car with a blue tarp and was using a giant snow shovel to fill the car up with the leaves that were in a pile in front of his house.

Where exactly was he planning on taking them? Who knows!

I guess he should get points for knowing where a tarp was. Hmpf.

HUSBAND GOT AN ITCH?

TRY THIS............

And Sometimes Other People's Husbands Do Stupid Things Too....

Like the man who came to my garage sale yesterday and paid me a quarter for an old remote control.

I don't even know what it was for (old TV, VCR, air-conditioner? Who Knows?)

Likelihood that he owns the object that it's compatible for? Zero

Maybe he lost his remote at home and just wants to be able to sit around in his Lazy-Boy holding on to something. I'll leave it at that.

HUSBANDS AND SEARS.......A Love Affair.

Okay what is it with husbands and Sears....Men flock to Sears and Craftsman crap like

us ladies flock to Louis Vuitton and Chanel......

Only the stuff we buy serves a purpose.....

Which brings me to today's visit to our local Sears Service Center

to drop off our steam cleaner that breaks more often then works....

I leave the husband for two minutes to turn in the broken machine and next thing I know he has the young kid salesperson going through boxes looking for who knows what?

Not only is this a drop off service center but leave it to Sears to sell

re-conditioned crap that other people have returned....

Hey.....that's where the husbands come in....Sears knows they have a market for this stuff....

That's when I see kid salesperson bring out a big box from the backroom.....Was I the only one to notice what the big box said.......

Now I don't know about you ladies but when someone is trying to sell me something that has

been "re-conditioned"....I wouldn't take a box that says "DAMAGED" on the side if they gave it to me for free....

Are you with me on this one.....

So I hear Boob #1 behind the counter say to Boob #2 in front of the counter....

"Oh just ignore that it's fine"......

followed by Boob #2 saying....

"Oh Okay"....

Now the item in question works with a big ass battery.....does the battery come with the item....

NO.

Why would it........this way Sears can sell you additional crap so item can work when you get it home....

So.....next thing I see husband out in front of the store on the sidewalk with "kid salesman"

rooting through a bin of Craftsman tool bags....

Not just any tool bag......inside you get a drill and a flashlight....the needed battery and a

charger all for $39.99......

Now how can any husband worth their weight in power tools pass up such a deal....

I was offered 3 bags of trash compactor bags so I took him up on that offer and we are now the proud owners of this.........

Yes......a Die Hard truck.....minus a battery to make it work for $39.99

so for a total of a little under $80.00 we now have a toy truck

to torment the dog and a new flashlight.....

Oh I forgot the tool bag and the 19.2 Volt Battery so that the truck isn't just a big useless

piece of plastic......

You Gotta Love Sears.